We're in the middle of the season already! Tension is high with players shifting in and out of their bye weeks while most of us struggle to get in or stay inside that playoff bubble. Injuries and fatigue are taking their toll on the players. It's time to buckle down and make your push to win a ride on the Ship. Paraphrasing Cersei Lannister, "When you play the game of fantasy football you win, or you die."
Here are the current leaders: In the Bubble:
AFC East: Excederin Migraines GRONK OF THRONES
AFC West: ThoughtIHadAByeWeek big blue
NFC North: Tyrodasaurus Rex The NY HITMAN
NFC South: My Pet Monsters Get Off My Ditka
BLOWOUT OF THE WEEK: Star Chasers 82.36 vs big blue 123.78
Star Chasers suffered their 5th loss in a row by getting blown out by 41.42 points. Of the losses Star Chasers has had, three were against opponents who topped their season scoring average that week. With 4 players on a bye week Star Chasers grabbed QB Josh McCown off the waivers and his output was nearly 10 points higher than projected but it was just no match for the might of big blues upset squad this week. big blue played the NY Giants defense against Denver, for some reason, and I'm not sure who he paid off but the Giants DEF gave him 22 points which is 5 points higher than ALL THEIR GAMES COMBINED! o_0 Hold up, I'm not done yet. The New Orleans Saints traded away unproductive Adrian Peterson with a 5 week combined score of 8.5 points. He goes to the Arizona Cardinals and proceeds to RUN ALL OVER the Bucs with 134 yards and 2 TD's giving big blue 25.40 fantasy points. big blue also had Antonio Brown and with 21.50 points, had the highest WR score of the week. Rookie big blue (5-1, 520.76 points) remains in the AFCE 2nd place spot while Rookie Star Chasers (1-5, 429.04 points) is still looking up at everyone from the cellar.
PHOTO FINISH OF THE WEEK: BERGER KINGS 83.72 vs GRONK OF THRONES 84.74
Rookie team BERGER KINGS came into the MMFFL to replace the now defunct Not Too Shabby and almost pulled out a win against the now 5 and 1 GRONK OF THRONES. At 1.02 points, the GRONK OF THRONES margin of victory was the tightest of the week. The opportunity was there for BERGER KINGS when QB Jameis Winston hurt his throwing shoulder and left the game with only 2.44 points for GRONK OF THRONES. RB Dion Lewis did his part for the team scoring double his projections but WR Martavis Bryant spent too much time arguing with his girlfriend over trade rumors instead of getting open and catching some passes from Old Ben. With only 2.7 points after 3 targets and 2 receptions it would have taken just 1 decent catch to win the game. GRONK OF THRONES got GRONKS biggest output of the season yet with 20.30 points and Defenses have enough film on rookie sensation RB Kareem Hunt now to hold him to a decent 11.00 fantasy points and 0 TD's the past few weeks. GRONK OF THRONES (5-1, 633.40 points) remains in 2nd place of the NFCN and BERGER KINGS (2-4, 440.08 points) stays in 3rd place in the NFCS.
DUMPSTER FIRE OF THE WEEK: Legion of Boom 54.54 vs Da Boyz 72.62
Usually this category is reserved for the team with the lowest output of the week but this week both teams under performed. The outcome of this game was sealed on September 1, 2017 at 6:30pm when Da Boyz selected RB Le'Veon Bell with the Number 1 overall draft pick. He was the only player between these two teams that showed up at gametime in a big way where he scored 25.10 points with 179 rushing yards, 1 TD, and 12 reception yards. The only other player for Da Boyz that simply met his projections was WR DeSean Jackson who caught for 38 yards and a touchdown. Legion of Boom had 8 of their 9 starters score less than their projected points. It was RB Tevin Coleman who ran for 32 yards and a touchdown just to try to keep Legion of Boom alive but in the end it was her lowest score of the season. Da Boyz (3-3, 498.24 points) remains in 2nd place in the NFCS while Legion of Boom (2-4, 475.36 points) stays in 4th place in the North.
Get Off of My Ditka! 103.16 vs BUFFBULLY 64.22
2.48 points was all that stood between this non-categorized game versus winning the spot in the Blowout of the week category. It had no chance to make the Photo Finish category. 41.42 points is what stood between Rookie BUFFBULLY and victory but what's worse is that she lost more than just the game this week! Her star player QB Aaron Rodgers done broke his right collar bone and will require surgery. After seeking the wisdom of our local expert, Google, it appears his probability of returning this season is between "Hell no" and "LOL". Three of the five losses for BUFFBULLY this season have come when their opponent had their highest-scoring week of the season. Rookie Get Off of My Ditka! has overachieved for three straight weeks and this weeks 103.16 is his highest score of the season. BUFFBULLY (1-5, 437.50 points) is 3rd of the AFCW and Get Off of My Ditka! (4-2, 521.92 points) maintains 3rd in the AFCE.
Gashouse Gorilla's 83.38 vs ThoughtIHadAByeWeek 95.14
Eh.... Who cares? Moving on.....
D-TOWN BEATDOWN 88.48 vs Excedrin Migraines 110.82
If I were to describe Excedrin Migraines in two words it would have to be "5 wins, 1 loss". Unfortunately for D-TOWN BEATDOWN the loss isn't from them. LA Chargers RB Melvin Gordon abused the Raiders when he rushed for 83 yards and caught 67 passing yards that included a TD totaling 27 Fantasy points for Excedrin Migraines. The other LA team, the Rams' Defense totaled 22 points with a Kick and a punt return TD along with 5 sacks. I'll let you guess who had them on their roster. To be fair, D-TOWN BEATDOWN got a strong performance from his hometown crew the Lions when they also had a Kick and punt return for a TD along with 2 picks giving him 17 points. Three of the five losses for D-TOWN BEATDOWN this season have come when their opponent had their highest-scoring week of the season whereas Excedrin Migraines has won three times this year when their opponent scored higher than their season average. Excedrin Migraines (5-1, 530.52 points) remains in 1st place in the AFCE while D-TOWN BEATDOWN (1-5, 472.62 points) stays way down in 2nd place of the AFCW.
League Champion Hard Knocks 61.14 vs The NY HITMAN 80.40
It's the 3rd straight win for The NY HITMAN and the 5th straight loss for our League Champ Hard Knocks. Hard Knocks has been unable to meet their projected points for the fifth week in a row and is tied for the longest losing streak in the league. It was poor timing for Hard Knocks this week as QB Derek Carr threw 2 INTS and had a final score of 8.84 points compared to The NY HITMANS QB Deshaun Watson who's been killing it while averaging 29 points a game since week 3. The NY HITMAN (4-2, 524.20 points) remains in 3rd in the NFCN and League Champion Hard Knocks (1-5, 437.90) continues to rest in 4th place in the NFC South.
Gashouse Gorilla's 83.38 vs ThoughtIHadAByeWeek 95.14
I was just playing, here you go guys: Gashouse Gorilla's ThoughtHeMightHaveAWinWeek when he went into Monday Nights game with a 9.78 point advantage and RB Demarco Murray left to play against QB Marcus Mariota who was listed as Questionable all week and Kicker Ryan Succop. BUT WE ALL KNOW HOW FICKLE FANTASY FOOTBALL IS! If there was ever a leg to be coveted this week as highly as the leg lamp that Ralphie's Old Man Murphy worshipped in A Christmas Story it would have to be Succup's leg this week. With 21 Kicking points that leg could be called "indescribably beautiful". The next highest Kicker score was 14 points. He outscored both teams QB's! ThoughtIHadAByeWeek came into the Monday night game facing a 9.78-point deficit, but ended up scoring 36.24 for the comeback. With a combined 36.10 points from their WRs, ThoughtIHadAByeWeek got their highest combined scoring output from the WR position this season. Gashouse Gorilla's (2-4, 410.72 points) is 4th in the East and ThoughtIHadAByeWeek (4-2, 552.56 points) is number 1 of the West.
KING OF THE HILL: My Pet Monsters 94.00 vs Tyrodasaurus Rex 71.16
Previously undefeated but still reigning King of the Hill in the number 1 spot Tyrodasaurus Rex has suffered their first defeat at the hands of My Pet Monsters. It was the highest score of the season for My Pet Monsters and the lowest for Tyrodasaurus Rex. Week 6 Top scoring QB Kirk Cousins helped pave the way to victory with 330 passing yards, 2 passing touchdowns, and a rushing touchdown giving My Pet Monsters 28.80 points. Leading scorer for Tyrodasaurus Rex RB Jerick McKinnon led the way with 69 rushing yards, 1 rushing TD, and a receiving TD. Jerick McKinnon has 245 total yards and three touchdowns in the two games since Dalvin Cook suffered a knee injury and seems to be a productive pickup for the Rex since he snagged him off the waivers on Oct 4th. My Pet Monsters (3-3, 499.80 points) remains in 1st place of the South while Tyrodasaurus Rex (5-1, 560.78 points) stays in first place in the North and the league.
WEEK 6 SPECIAL AWARD: Dirty 30 (Team with the starting player closest to 30pts [under or over])
My Pet Monsters - QB Kirk Cousins 28.80 points
Week 5 is over and we're close, basically almost, to the halfway point. There's 7 teams batting over .500 and 9 teams that have a losing yet winnable record. Injuries are piling on with Odell Beckham Jr breaking his ankle, Brandon Marshall and Sterling Shepard sprained their ankles, Dwayne Harris fractured his foot, Chris Conley blew out his achilles, and honorable mention J.J. Watt fractured his tibial plateau. That's just a few of the notable ones but for a complete list you can go here.
Here are the current leaders:
AFC East: Excederin Migraines
AFC West: ThoughtIHadAByeWeek
NFC North: Tyrodasaurus Rex
NFC South: My Pet Monsters
BLOWOUT OF THE WEEK: Excedrin Migraines 103.82 vs Not Too Shabby 59.68: Excedrin Migraines is a on 4 game winning streak and dominated Not Too Shabby by 44.14 points with the help of 52.60 points by his RBs which is the season-high for combined points from the position. It was Excedrin Migraines highest score of the season but it came with a cost as WR Brandon Marshall suffered a season ending injury. Not Too Shabby had their lowest output of the season and in the process lost WR Odell Beckham Jr to a season ending injury. Excedrin Migraines (4-1, 419.70 points) remains in first place of the AFCE and Not Too Shabby (2-3, 356.36 points) drops to 3rd place in the NFCS.
PHOTO FINISH OF THE WEEK: My Pet Monsters 85.04 vs Bronx Bombers 95.10 (Changed their name to Get Off my Ditka!): It wasn't really a photo finish but the 10.06-point margin of victory was the slimmest in the league this week so that qualifies. Get Off of My Ditka! picked up 26.20 points from Cam Newton and 14.20 from Michael Crabtree. It was a rough week for these two teams as My Pet Monsters had a monster 5 players on BYE week and Bronx Bombers had 3. Bronx Bombers (Get Off of My Ditka!) (3-2, 418.76 points) remains in 3rd place in the AFCE while My Pet Monsters (2-3, 405.80 points) stays in 1st place in the NFCS.
DUMPSTER FIRE OF THE WEEK + KING OF THE HILL: ThoughtIHadaByeWeek 53.04 vs Undefeated Tyrodasaurus Rex 74.70: It was the lowest score of the season for ThoughtIHadAByeWeek and also the lowest in the league this week. If anyone had a chance to defeat the Undefeated Tyrodasaurus Rex it should have been ThoughtIHadaByeWeek. Tyrodasaurus Rex had the lowest winning score in the league this week with 74.70 points. QB Sam Bradford tried to RG3 his way through the first half of the game on a gimp leg but ultimately left the game and took ThoughtIHadaByeWeek's hopes and dreams with him. ThoughtIHadAByeWeek (3-2, 457.42 points) remains at first in the AFCW and Undefeated Tyrodasaurus Rex (5-0, 489.62 points) remains in first place in the NFCN and in the league.
D-TOWN BEATDOWN 72.86 vs GRONK OF THRONES 90.16: Sterling Shepard left the game with an ankle sprain after only scoring 0.9 points for GRONK OF THRONES. TE Dwayne Allen has a total of 6 targets in all 5 weeks this season and 0 completions. The Patriots never even threw him the ball this week and earned a goose egg for GRONK OF THRONES. That said, D-TOWN BEATDOWN still couldn't end his 3 game losing streak when the Jaguars Def scored 28 points for GRONK OF THRONES who has now won four games in a row. GRONK OF THRONES (4-1, 548.66 points) rests in second in the NFCN while D-TOWN BEATDOWN (1-4, 384.14 points) stays second in the AFCW.
Star Chasers 73.24 vs The NY HITMAN 107.94: Facing a 0.84-point deficit on Sunday night, The NY HITMAN scored 35.54 and devastated Star Chasers 107.94 to 73.24 while claiming the highest score of the week. It was a huge night for Rookie QB Deshaun Watson who scored 35.54 points, the highest of any player on The NY HITMAN this season. Star Chasers has lost four straight games and wasn't helped this week by having a combined 11.10 points from their RBs, their lowest combined scoring output from the RB position this season. The NY HITMAN (3-2, 443.80 points) remains in third place in the NFCN while Star Chasers (1-4, 346.68 points) stays in last place of the AFCW and the league.
Gashouse Gorilla's 78.96 vs Da Boyz 96.06: Da Boyz got two huge performances this week from Alex Smith with 26.86 points and DeAndre Hopkins with 23.20. Da Boyz got a combined 35.10 points from their WRs, their highest combined scoring output from the WR position this season. Da Boyz TE Travis Kelce suffered a concussion during the game and missed the second half after discovering he had memory problems after leaving the medical tent. Gashouse Gorilla's got a combined 8.80 points from their WRs, their lowest combined scoring output from the WR position this season. Gashouse Gorilla's (2-3, 327.34 points) remains in 4th in the AFCE and Da Boyz (2-3, 425.62 points) moves up again this week to the 2nd place spot in the NFCS.
League Champion Hard Knocks 74.44 vs big blue 88.32: It's the third straight win for big blue with the help of K Adam Vinatieri who netted him 18.00 points. Three of the starters for big blue scored higher than the leading scorer for League Champion Hard Knocks. Hard Knocks joins Star Chasers for the longest losing streak in the league so far with four straight loses. Five of the starters on Hard Knocks scored less than their projected points. Hard Knocks (1-4, 376.76 points) is last in the NFCS while big blue (4-1 396.98 points) is holding on in #2 of the AFCE.
Legion of Boom 84.82 vs BUFFBULLY 67.14: With A.J. Green (22.90 points) and Seattle DEF (16.00 points) leading the way Legion of Boom is on a hot streak with 2 wins in a row by defeating BUFFBULLY. Legion of Boom got a combined 6.40 points from their RBs, their lowest combined scoring output from the RB position this season. While it was a loss for BUFFBULLY, it was a good week for Torrey Smith, who had a season-best 12.70 points but not so good for Geronimo Allison who scored a goose egg. You think that's bad? Houston Defense scored -3 points! It's one thing to not score but to actively take away points is a new level of hell. Legion of Boom (2-3, 420.82 points) remains last in the NFCN and BUFFBULLY (1-4, 373.28 points) stays third in the AFCW.
WEEK 5 SPECIAL AWARD: MVP (Highest scoring individual player, DEF included)
The NY HITMAN - QB Deshaun Watson 35.54
Usually I have a day to process a Redskins loss before doing the recaps but this week we're not so lucky. Along with alcohol and a late night I'll probably be less creative and utilize more plagiarism. So here we are. Week 5 has begun and it's the beginning of BYE weeks for some of us which means it's time for some waiver battles. As a side note I'm incorporating a new weekly award which will be different each week. The prize will either be disgrace or glory depending on the predetermined weekly category which will be a secret until it has been awarded.
Here are the current leaders:
AFC East: Excederin Migraines (New)
AFC West: ThoughtIHadAByeWeek
NFC North: Tyrodasaurus Rex
NFC South: My Pet Monsters
BLOWOUT OF THE WEEK: League Champion Hard Knocks 58.12 vs GRONK OF THRONES 114.78. GRONK OF THRONES is on a 3 game win streak and owns the highest overall point total in the league this season and is averaging 114.62 points per matchup. They seem to be unstoppable at this point as they destroyed our League Champion Hard Knocks by 56.66 points, nearly double his score! Hard Knocks had their lowest output of the season with 58.12 points. Hard Knocks 1-3 goes to 4th in the NFCS and GRONK OF THRONES maintains 2nd in the NFCN.
PHOTO FINISH OF THE WEEK: D-TOWN BEATDOWN 54.86 vs big blue 58.78. This is the second week in a row where D-TOWN BEATDOWN has been defeated by the smallest margin of the week (3.92 points). big blue has the lowest winning score in the league this season. Despite the victory, big blue 3-1 falls to 2nd in the AFCE and D-TOWN BEATDOWN maintains his #2 position in the AFCW.
DUMPSTER FIRE OF THE WEEK: Star Chasers 50.08 vs Gashouse Gorilla's 71.90. How the projected mighty have fallen from projected grace! Still unable to find an answer to the loss of David Johnson, Star Chasers was last in the league in scoring, had their lowest score of the season, and has underachieved every week this season. From Yahoo: "Dear, Star Chasers: Sorry to hear you lost. Toyota Hall of Famers don't really know how that feels, but surely it can't feel great. Next week, just win." The margin of victory of 21.82 points was the biggest of the season for Gashouse Gorilla's. Star Chasers 1-3 falls to 4th in the AFCW and Gashouse Gorilla's 2-2 stays 4th in the AFCE.
Bronx Bombers 100.14 vs ThoughtIHadAByeWeek 83.94: Bronx Bombers takes the W while earning their highest score of the season after doing some wheeling and dealing with the devil at the crossroads. He managed to get Cam Newton who's been underperforming by not even earning 15 points a game but suddenly managed to score 34.04 points against God's gift to bandwagon fans everywhere the Patriots.... This was the first loss for ThoughtIHadAByeWeek because 5 of their starters scored less than their projected points. Bronx Bombers 2-2 remains 3rd in the AFCE and ThoughtIHadAByeWeek 3-1 keeps representing the #1 in the AFCW.
Da Boyz 103.58 vs The NY HITMAN 127.02: Although Da Boyz scored a respectable 103.58 points they were no match for The NY HITMAN who scored 127.02 points, the highest in the league this week and third-highest in the league this season. Da Boyz had the highest losing score in the league this season, so, congrats? The NY HITMAN had their largest margin of victory so far this year at 23.44 points. At the QB position, Da Boyz got outscored 34.72 - 10.48 by The NY HITMAN. With the victory The NY HITMAN 2-2 stays 3rd in the NFCN and Da Boyz 1-3 (remember that respectable score?) was able to move UP to 3rd in the NFCS.
My Pet Monsters 77.60 vs Legion of Boom 89.32: So, I've been avoiding this one but it's my sworn duty to suck it up and do what has to be done. Last seasons power houses My Pet Monsters and Legion of Boom went head to head with the Legion of Boom pulling out their first victory of 2017 when The Seattle Seahawks Defense scored 20.00 points, the highest DEF score of the week. Legion of Boom was quoted as saying, "Thank you Seattle defense for stepping up!". My Pet Monsters was quoted as saying, "#$@&%*! ☠@✴#ing %&$#?@!" The victorious Legion of Boom 1-3 successfully holds onto 4th in the NFCN while My Pet Monsters 2-2 maintains 1st in the NFCS.
Excedrin Migraines 90.18 vs BUFFBULLY 83.16: The win streak continues for Excedrin Migraines who had their largest margin of victory so far this year at only 7.02 points. With 90.18 points, Excedrin Migraines had their highest score so far this season to win their third game in a row. The headlines might have been different for BUFFBULLY had 6 of the starters not scored less than their projected points. Only had 10.60 total points by the RBs which was their smallest RB output this season. Excedrin Migraines 3-1 shoves big blue out of the way to take the #1 position in the AFCE. BUFFBULLY 1-3 also moves up in rank to #3 in the AFCW.
KING OF THE HILL: Not Too Shabby 81.04 vs Tyrodasaurus Rex 100.62: Tyrodasaurus Rex (4-0, 414.92 points) takes ownership of first place in the league after beating Not Too Shabby 100.62 to 81.04. While reigning supreme as the only undefeated team in the league Tryodasaurus Rex has now beaten their projection every single week so far this year. KING OF THE HILL Tyrodasaurus Rex joins our League Champion Cody of the Hills as the top targets to be toppled by the rest of the league. Everybody wants to rule the world and if it's not you then there's someone else in the way that needs destroyed. Not Too Shabby stays #2 in the NFCS while Tyrodasaurus Rex remains at #1 of the NFCN and #1 of the MMFFL.
WEEK 4 SPECIAL AWARD: THE BENCH WARMER (Team with the highest scoring individual bench player)
Da Boyz - Alex Smith 27.32