BLOWOUT OF THE WEEK: Da Boyz faced their fears and went to the scary house to defeat My Pet Monsters easily 95.28 to 64.86. This was the biggest blowout this week with a 30.42 whooping! A scared RB LeGarrette Blount laid a big fat goose egg when Da Boyz brought TE Travis Kelce to the door with his 16.30 points. Both teams now sit at 1-1. In the NFC SOUTH Da Boyz sits at 2nd place while My Pet Monsters is a step behind in 3rd.
I'm a huge fan of Andy Dalton.... jokes. Dude has been underperforming and has a combined scored of 10.46 in 2 games, yet rookie Bronx Bombers pulled the Red Rifle trigger with him on his roster and STILL defeated Gashouse Gorilla's by 27.04 points and I didn't even touch on his Jordy Nelson goose egg!! Trevor Siemian sat on the bench and earned 23.64 points because Bronx Bombers is either crazy or has the confidence in his lineup to take this years Championship. Gashouse Gorilla's Baltimore defense was their biggest scorer with 16 points since we're not counting Carson Wentz's 25.82 BENCH points. Bronx Bombers got the best total score from their WRs of any team this week with 41.90 points and Gashouse Gorilla's got the smallest total score from the RB position of any team this week with 3.20 points. Both teams are at 1-1 but Bronx Bombers is the AFC EAST leader while Gashouse Gorilla's is in the caboose.
Rookie Star Chasers had their first taste of the D-TOWN BEATDOWN beatdown by getting beaten by pretty much all of the Detroit Lions 83.88 to 73.12. D-TOWN has 5 of them on his squad! D-TOWNS' WR Emmanual Sanders was their biggest scorer with 18.20 points while Star Chasers flexed J.J. Nelson with 18.00. Star Chasers lost #2 overall draft pick David Johnson to a major injury last week and is expected or hoping to have him return late in the season. Nobody on the bench would have saved Star Chasers from the big L this week while D-TOWN could have played WR Allen Hurns in the FLEX to add an additional 14.20 points to the beating instead of WR Kenny Galloday who earned a pathetic 0.80. I'm sensing a pattern here but both teams are 1-1 with D-TOWN BEATDOWN sitting in the AFC WEST 2nd spot and Star Chasers chasing right behind in number 3!
Rookie Big Blue has a tough pill to swallow accepting defeat from Excederin Migraines while playing Week 2's highest scorer QB Tom Brady with 30.78 points. In a tight 86.04 to 79.88 battle Excederin Migraines saw great performances by RB Melvin Gordon (13.80) and Atlanta's Defense (13.00). RB Adrian Peterson just doesn't care about Big Blue and only "earned" him 2.6 points while RB Jacquizz Rodgers decided to punish Big Blue for being BENCHED by earning 12.70 points, which would have stolen the victory away from Excederin Migraines. I'm sure you all have guessed it by now but both teams are, say it with me, 1-1. Exederin Migrains is #2 and Big Blue is #3 in the AFC WEST so far.
League Champion Hard Knocks suffered a loss this week against a quiet Not Too Shabby 81.82 to 74.70. With 9.10 points, Hard Knocks got the lowest combined scoring output from the WR position for any team this week but had the best performing Defense with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers (19.00). Hard Knocks played his studs and didn't have enough on the bench to have saved him this week while Not Too Shabby had a spare 10.50 points on the BENCH with RB Terrence West. .................................. 1-1. Hard Knocks is still on his throne at #1 in the NFC SOUTH and Not Too Shabby is in the basement looking to climb his way out.
Try as they might Legion of Boom could not pull out a victory even with the highest losing score of the week. Tyrodasaurus Rex earned a 93.66 to 89.74 victory (3.92 difference!) with a combined 49.40 points from their RBs, the highest combined scoring output from the RB position for any team this week. Had Legion of Boom played TE Eric Ebron who scored 10.20 BENCH points the outcome would have been different even with such great performances by RB Devonta Freeman (22.00) and RB C.J. Anderson (27.40) for Tyrodasaurus Rex. And now it's time for something completely different: Legion of Boom is 0-2 and Tyrodasaurus Rex is UNDEFEATED at 2-0. TRex is King of the NFC NORTH hill and Legion of Boom is in the 4th spot, out of 4.
ThoughtIHadAByeWeek, AKA Playoffs?PLAYOFFS!?, AKA Barrett's Best Team AKA WTFDOINAMEHISWEBPAGEANDSTATISTICSSECTIONS???... ::ahem:: won against rookie BUFFBULLY 77.3 to 75.12. It was extremely close, and the 2.18-point margin of victory was the smallest in the league this week. ThoughtIHadAByeWeek had the lowest winning score in the league this week with 77.30 points. BUFFBULLY is bullied BUFFBULLY by BENCHING Javorious Allen who scored 16.10 non-helpful points. It was a tough battle between these two but the better team won and there's too many bench "what if's" that it doesn't really matter. ThoughtIHadAByeWeek is sitting pretty at the top of the AFC WEST while rookie BUFFBULLY is plotting from the bottom to make her climb to the top of Mount MMFFL by the playoffs. ThoughtIHadAByeWeek, so far, holds this seasons BEST TOTAL POINTS IN A SINGLE WEEK (Week 1, worth 15% of the prize pot) record with 141.54 points.
Another one: GRONK OF THRONES, formerly The GRONKING DEAD!!! fought off The NYHITMAN with authority! The NY HITMAN put a hit on the GRONK OF THRONES but the bullet ricocheted and hit the HITMAN instead with a final score of 103.06 to 73.82. GRONK OF THRONES had four starters who scored more points than the highest-scoring starter for The NY HITMAN and had monster performances by RB Todd Gurley and this years hottest RB Kareem Hunt with a combined 46.50 points. There was nothing The NY HITMAN could do with his bench to have stopped such devastation. They both are 1 and 1 with the GRONK OF THRONES at #2 and The NY HITMAN chilling at #3 in the NFC NORTH.
WEEK 3 BEGINS NOW!