Usually I have a day to process a Redskins loss before doing the recaps but this week we're not so lucky. Along with alcohol and a late night I'll probably be less creative and utilize more plagiarism. So here we are. Week 5 has begun and it's the beginning of BYE weeks for some of us which means it's time for some waiver battles. As a side note I'm incorporating a new weekly award which will be different each week. The prize will either be disgrace or glory depending on the predetermined weekly category which will be a secret until it has been awarded.
Here are the current leaders:
AFC East: Excederin Migraines (New)
AFC West: ThoughtIHadAByeWeek
NFC North: Tyrodasaurus Rex
NFC South: My Pet Monsters
BLOWOUT OF THE WEEK: League Champion Hard Knocks 58.12 vs GRONK OF THRONES 114.78. GRONK OF THRONES is on a 3 game win streak and owns the highest overall point total in the league this season and is averaging 114.62 points per matchup. They seem to be unstoppable at this point as they destroyed our League Champion Hard Knocks by 56.66 points, nearly double his score! Hard Knocks had their lowest output of the season with 58.12 points. Hard Knocks 1-3 goes to 4th in the NFCS and GRONK OF THRONES maintains 2nd in the NFCN.
PHOTO FINISH OF THE WEEK: D-TOWN BEATDOWN 54.86 vs big blue 58.78. This is the second week in a row where D-TOWN BEATDOWN has been defeated by the smallest margin of the week (3.92 points). big blue has the lowest winning score in the league this season. Despite the victory, big blue 3-1 falls to 2nd in the AFCE and D-TOWN BEATDOWN maintains his #2 position in the AFCW.
DUMPSTER FIRE OF THE WEEK: Star Chasers 50.08 vs Gashouse Gorilla's 71.90. How the projected mighty have fallen from projected grace! Still unable to find an answer to the loss of David Johnson, Star Chasers was last in the league in scoring, had their lowest score of the season, and has underachieved every week this season. From Yahoo: "Dear, Star Chasers: Sorry to hear you lost. Toyota Hall of Famers don't really know how that feels, but surely it can't feel great. Next week, just win." The margin of victory of 21.82 points was the biggest of the season for Gashouse Gorilla's. Star Chasers 1-3 falls to 4th in the AFCW and Gashouse Gorilla's 2-2 stays 4th in the AFCE.
Bronx Bombers 100.14 vs ThoughtIHadAByeWeek 83.94: Bronx Bombers takes the W while earning their highest score of the season after doing some wheeling and dealing with the devil at the crossroads. He managed to get Cam Newton who's been underperforming by not even earning 15 points a game but suddenly managed to score 34.04 points against God's gift to bandwagon fans everywhere the Patriots.... This was the first loss for ThoughtIHadAByeWeek because 5 of their starters scored less than their projected points. Bronx Bombers 2-2 remains 3rd in the AFCE and ThoughtIHadAByeWeek 3-1 keeps representing the #1 in the AFCW.
Da Boyz 103.58 vs The NY HITMAN 127.02: Although Da Boyz scored a respectable 103.58 points they were no match for The NY HITMAN who scored 127.02 points, the highest in the league this week and third-highest in the league this season. Da Boyz had the highest losing score in the league this season, so, congrats? The NY HITMAN had their largest margin of victory so far this year at 23.44 points. At the QB position, Da Boyz got outscored 34.72 - 10.48 by The NY HITMAN. With the victory The NY HITMAN 2-2 stays 3rd in the NFCN and Da Boyz 1-3 (remember that respectable score?) was able to move UP to 3rd in the NFCS.
My Pet Monsters 77.60 vs Legion of Boom 89.32: So, I've been avoiding this one but it's my sworn duty to suck it up and do what has to be done. Last seasons power houses My Pet Monsters and Legion of Boom went head to head with the Legion of Boom pulling out their first victory of 2017 when The Seattle Seahawks Defense scored 20.00 points, the highest DEF score of the week. Legion of Boom was quoted as saying, "Thank you Seattle defense for stepping up!". My Pet Monsters was quoted as saying, "#$@&%*! ☠@✴#ing %&$#?@!" The victorious Legion of Boom 1-3 successfully holds onto 4th in the NFCN while My Pet Monsters 2-2 maintains 1st in the NFCS.
Excedrin Migraines 90.18 vs BUFFBULLY 83.16: The win streak continues for Excedrin Migraines who had their largest margin of victory so far this year at only 7.02 points. With 90.18 points, Excedrin Migraines had their highest score so far this season to win their third game in a row. The headlines might have been different for BUFFBULLY had 6 of the starters not scored less than their projected points. Only had 10.60 total points by the RBs which was their smallest RB output this season. Excedrin Migraines 3-1 shoves big blue out of the way to take the #1 position in the AFCE. BUFFBULLY 1-3 also moves up in rank to #3 in the AFCW.
KING OF THE HILL: Not Too Shabby 81.04 vs Tyrodasaurus Rex 100.62: Tyrodasaurus Rex (4-0, 414.92 points) takes ownership of first place in the league after beating Not Too Shabby 100.62 to 81.04. While reigning supreme as the only undefeated team in the league Tryodasaurus Rex has now beaten their projection every single week so far this year. KING OF THE HILL Tyrodasaurus Rex joins our League Champion Cody of the Hills as the top targets to be toppled by the rest of the league. Everybody wants to rule the world and if it's not you then there's someone else in the way that needs destroyed. Not Too Shabby stays #2 in the NFCS while Tyrodasaurus Rex remains at #1 of the NFCN and #1 of the MMFFL.
WEEK 4 SPECIAL AWARD: THE BENCH WARMER (Team with the highest scoring individual bench player)
Da Boyz - Alex Smith 27.32